Skip to main content

Who Are You?





Self Reflection is an important competency, and a common term used in Learning & Development. Just a quick google search on the term 'self reflection' leads to more than 357.000.000 results!

Apparently there is a lot of self reflection to be done...
And it is not without reason... You can learn and improve a lot from self-reflection. It increases your self-knowledge, makes you (more) aware of emotions that play a role in different situations and it gives you insight into how you can act more effectively. But how does one do that? How do you self-reflect? Recently I ran a Personal Effectiveness training using the Logical Levels of Change, Learning & Communication, based on Bateson & Dilts.

This theory states that people can think, learn and communicate on different levels:







The effect of each level is to organize and direct the information on the level below it. Changing something on a higher level would necessarily change things on the lower levels. Changing something on a lower level however, could but would not necessarily affect the upper levels.

For example: Many people have the behavioral skills to get up on a stage, grab the microphone and tell an audience of 200 people something about themselves. Yet many do not think that's a very pleasant task. There is something on a higher level that is blocking them... Perhaps a belief? (ie. "I do not have anything interesting to say.") Only changing that belief can lead to true changed behavior. Just changing the behavior does not necessarily change the belief. When you want to learn how to self reflect, these levels can be a very helpful tool.

For example, try this 3 Step Self Reflection Exercise:
Step 1.
Think of a situation that you recently experienced that you want to reflect upon. An argument? A conflict of interest? Or perhaps a difficult conversation?
Step 2.
Then write down the answers to following questions based on the different levels of the model. Starting with the lower, bottom level: 1. Environment: Where are you? What do you respond to, when and with whom? 2. Behavior: What do you do, see, hear, how do you act? 3. Capabilities / Skills: What can you do, how do you handle the situation? 4. Beliefs: Why do you handle it that way? What do you believe? 5. Identity: Who are you? What is your goal in life? 6. Purpose: What else is this happening for? What is the purpose? Step 3.
See if you can formulate a conclusion at the end and don't forget: Be kind to yourself! This willingness to examine yourself, to make corrections and to do better in the future, is essential to your personal growth.

Happy self reflecting!

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Emotions at work? Yes please!

  "I was biting my tongue the whole time"  "Gosh, he makes my blood boil"  "I wish she would just get off my back"  “There is a knot in my stomach”   These are all common idioms which are related to where emotions can settle in our body. We especially notice it during those tricky conversations.  But weirdly enough, even though our body is telling us exactly what is going on, we hardly listen to it.  A missed opportunity because they are crucial signals that remind you to use your communication skills and our emotional intelligence.  What to do?    -        *  Do you notice tension in your body? Do you feel your heart beat faster? You may find it an exciting conversation. Ask yourself: What do I find exciting or difficult? -        *  State what you see or feel. Such as: "I notice my heart is beating fast and there is a knot in my stomach. I feel uncomfortable.”   -       *   Examine your own judgment of emotions. What do you th

How we help Leaders Learn more Deeply

Much research has been done into effective ways of learning. But we can cautiously say that learning is too complex an activity for conclusive theories. Which is not to say that we are in the dark. An educational thinker who has stood the test of time is David Kolb. In the 1970s and 1980s, this learning psychologist developed an influential and useful concept about learning that can also be found in all of our InterACT WA Communication & Leadership training courses. What is it?  Kolb divided the learning process into four phases. He saw them as cyclical, so he put them in a circle. Whoever wants to learn something, according to Kolb, must go through every phase of the circle. And not once, no, often you have to go through the circle a few times to get to what really matters: to learn more deeply. Learning more deeply means: you can remember what you have learned and apply it in practice. You don't have to be an educationalist to see that as a wonderful outcome of learni

5 reasons role play fails

Role playing is one of the most effective learning methods. Especially when you choose to work with a professional actor. Surprisingly it’s also one of the most misused techniques.  So what goes wrong? Well, pay attention and learn which 5 failures make role play fail miserably: 1. Unsafe practice   environment Most people are not dying of enthusiasm to do a role play simulation. That is why its extremely important to invest time and effort in creating a safe practice environment. Never ever push people intro a role play scenario if they really don't want to. They wont learn a thing and will only be more reluctant to do so in the future. 2. No alignment between learning goals and role play.  The role play has to be completely dedicated to the learning goal of the participant. Unfortunately sometimes people are eager to change the role play into an interesting theatrical scene. Perhaps fun to look at, but not very helpful to the participant. No role play s