Be honest: when you have a challenging conversation ahead, how much time do you spend practising it? I mean really practising—sitting down, speaking out loud, positioning your hands as you want them, and using the appropriate tone of voice—as opposed to just thinking about how to approach it.
I spent nearly ten years in sales, and I used to rehearse my negotiation skills in my car. While I was mentally preparing, I realized that wasn’t real practice. You truly need to say it out loud and act it out. Take it from someone who has spent a lot of time rehearsing like an actor.
There are two forms of long-term memory to consider:
1. **Explicit Memory**: This type stores facts, events, people, places, and objects.
2. **Implicit Memory**: This retains perceptual and motor skills, such as riding a bike or typing on a keyboard.
To recall explicit memories—like the script of your message—you need to consciously focus on the process of retrieval, which can be challenging. In contrast, implicit memories allow you to perform actions without needing to concentrate on every detail.
By rehearsing and fully "acting out" your message, you utilize your implicit or non-declarative memory, which can help you remember your script.
This technique isn’t limited to difficult conversations; it works for presentations too. Whenever you face a challenging situation that evokes any emotion, take the time to practice it. I personally like to pace around the room and act out important phone calls (even though I dislike phone calls).
If you try this, you’ll likely see a significant improvement! Okay, I may have made that number up, but based on my experience with role-playing, if you practice three times, I believe you will be about 60% better when you actually do it.
Give it a shot for your next phone call, critical conversation, or presentation, and let me know if you feel 60% better!