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Showing posts from May, 2019

Why You Are Not a Good Communicator

One of the ideals of many people is to become a ‘great communicator’. Truth is though...very little of us truly are.
Why is that?
I believe that a ‘great communicator’ is someone who has the capacity to give another person an accurate picture of what is happening in his or hers emotional and psychological life – and in particular, can describe the very darkest, trickiest and most awkward sides in such a way that others can understand, and even sympathize with them.
Now I realize that sounds very daunting, so perhaps it’s no surprise that many of us or not such great communicators because we simply do not wish to expose ourselves that way.
But make no mistake: Where we don’t ‘communicate’ a message, we still manage to get our points across, but just in toxic forms. As the expression goes, ‘if we can’t talk it out, we act it out’
So when someone asked me recently why we are not all great communicators, I shared these three important reasons:
1.    No good role models
We learn to speak by…